Monday, October 25, 2010

5 Ways to Conduct Yourself Wisely in Tough Situations


No matter what your life is like, you are eventually going to find yourself in a conflict. Two well-meaning people can find themselves on opposite sides of an issue. While they may be sincere, it is often the case that one or both parties are wrong in their approach to the argument. For those of you in the United Church of God, there have been such circumstances recently, but the principles presented here are of such a broad scope that even those who have no idea what I’m talking about will find them helpful. In such cases, we are all obligated to decide who and what to believe and how to react. God’s Word provides many more instructions than those listed here, but I have found these to be especially relevant.

Proverbs 18:17
The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him. 
#1 Humans are not good at judging right from wrong or discerning truth from falsehood. Note that this proverb doesn’t specify who is right or wrong; rather, it highlights the uncertainty of our ability to distinguish right from wrong. On one hand, someone can deceive you by presenting a very convincing (but flawed) argument, and you may believe it until someone questions the reasoning with the truth. On the other hand, if someone presents a case to you that is true, then you may be deceived by someone who steps up and questions it with false arguments. God made it known from the beginning that only He knows right from wrong, and it is to Him that we should look first and foremost. If you see two people on different sides of an issue, don’t be quick to jump in! Instead, ask God for guidance and seek His wisdom.
Proverbs 18:8
The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts.
#2 It is a natural human tendency to get worked up over juicy gossip. God has called us to not indulge in the desires of our flesh, and that includes our desire to hear everyone’s dirty secrets. If you hear gossip, how do you know it is true? When we hear that someone has done something wrong, we are quick and eager to believe it – it goes down to our inmost parts and we enjoy it. By the same token, we also find it difficult to believe that someone has acted righteously in a precarious situation. God does not want us to believe every piece of gossip that we hear, nor does He want us to delight in hearing it. 
Proverbs 12:16
A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult. 
#3 We are inclined to react negatively when we hear things we don’t like. On first reading, it might seem as though this proverb is just talking about how to react to an insult. On more careful consideration, it doesn’t necessarily state that the fool’s annoyance is in response to an insult: just that a fool will voice his annoyance whenever it occurs. By contrast, the wise man will not lose his composure, even when insulted. Any time we sin, we are insulting God. Just as God is patient and loving towards us, so also we should be patient and loving towards others, and this should be a driving principle in how we deal with others. 
Proverbs 12:15
The way of a fool seems right to him, but a wise man listens to advice. 
#4 It is human nature to think that we are right and without need for correction. We must be careful that we are not swayed by bad advice, but we must always be open to the possibility that we, being fallible human beings, have misjudged a situation. Likewise, we must always be willing to change our position if we find that we are in the wrong. How will we know whether advice is good or bad, or whether we are right or wrong? We must, to the best of our ability, seek out God’s guidance in humility.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
#5All of these points can be summed up in this final scripture. When people on both sides of an argument claim to be led by God, how do you decide whose side God is on? The key is not to try to decide whose side God is on, but to decide to be on God's side. When it says "in all your ways acknowledge Him," we should take that as a corrective statement. The truth is that it is easy to acknowledge God in some of our ways and deceive ourselves into thinking that we acknowledge Him in all of our ways. Be of sound mind, and carefully consider whether or not you are living by God's expectations. When you're not sure if you are handling a situation right, then don't lean on your own understanding - open up the Bible and read. Proverbs is often a great place to start for practical advice.

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